On Disappointment
If there is one thing I can always, always rely on, it's disappointment. Sadly, that disappointment is never not disappointing. I'm so tired of battling myself. I get my hopes up knowing that I will fail, clinging to some fantasy that maybe this time I won't. But I always do. I read this quote recently while trying to make sense of this pattern: "On disappointment: Don't immediately brush it off. Feel it first, and then it will leave you quicker. Here's the thing about broken glass: it needs to be acknowledged and swept up so you don't step on it later." The quote is by Victoria Erickson. I have no idea who that is, but damn is she right. But also...I do feel it. Sometimes too much. That's the case with me, something is either too much or not enough. I guess that's two things I can always rely on: I am never good enough. I'll be finding glass in my feet for awhile after this one.