In the Deep

I am a serial empath. I feel things incredibly deeply and absorb the energy of those around me without trying. This is often a good thing and allows me to understand the people in my life, but it is, at times, extremely detrimental to my overall health and well-being. This is especially true with my family and close friends, and when they are off, so am I. This isn't some reflective personality bullshit, this is how my body and soul operate. The feelings of the people around me become my own, even if I don't understand them, and have such a profound effect that I carry them with me throughout my entire day. That is not to be confused with turning other people’s feelings into my own to make it about me. It is always about them. It is always me feeling for them and wanting to help.

There are times when I am feeling great, am in a good, positive mood, and I walk next to someone and BAM! I'm done. I feel sad, hurt, angry...whatever it is that person is projecting without realizing it, and even though I know this is happening, I almost always turn these feelings on myself and am left wondering if that person is upset with me and go over and over every stupid little thing I've ever said or done in their presence. It's the literal worst. I hate it. That last piece has such control over my life and permeates my every thought that it has tanked my already below average self esteem.

Being an empath is hard.

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