Treading Water

This post was recovered from THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2016


It took awhile, but my head is finally above water, and while it is too soon to say for sure, I think I am headed in the right direction. I met with a new doctor who put me back on Wellbutrin and my brain is starting to function again. I feel like I am out of the black hole I had fallen into and it is a good feeling.

Life is very stressful and I struggle to do much more than work. but work is something I am good at. My patience is thin but it is getting better each day. Sleep still eludes me most nights but even that is improving. I ordered a new Beachbody workout system and am waiting for it to arrive so that I can begin to chip away at this weight and feel more like myself. Progress is progress and I will take it.

I am trying very hard to focus on doing only one thing at a time and it is anything but easy for me. I have to stop and remind myself 10,000 times a day to complete a task before starting a new one. Multitasking is something I excel at, and forcing my brain to do otherwise is challenging. That said, I feel like it is an important challenge that I need to make. Mindfulness and shit.

I am also working on being grateful for the little things in life. Gestures, kind and funny words, interactions with others, The Golden Girls, etc. It is so easy to brush these things aside and acknowledging them has made a positive impact on my attitude and overall well-being. Allowing myself to enjoy these things is new to me. I find myself smiling at my computer like an idiot over an exchange between my boss and I, and it is a good feeling. God, I love my boss. She is amazing. I don't think she realizes what an impact she has made on my life. I am so thankful for her.

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